Wandering Mind

So how low do you have to get before you hit bottom? Holy Fuck I hate this. I was really looking forward to practice tonight but once I got there I felt like shit. My shoulders started hurting, then my knees, then my back, then the nausea kicked in… So I left. I didn’t make it through last nights class assisting Beth, either. I was feeling absolutely useless so I split. I taught on Saturday and Sunday but didn’t practice Sunday or yesterday. I have managed to gain 10 lbs. in 4 days but I’m not eating much so I’m assuming it’s water. It’s been horrifically hot lately and it seems to get hotter in my house than it is outside. I went to bed at midnight last night and it was 88 degrees downstairs and had to be around 95 upstairs. It’s cooler tonight, thank god. I don’t know if this is physical, mental, emotional… but I know I’m about ready to loose my shit. Last night after I left the studio I just got really down on myself and my situation. I’m currently less than enthused about my new job but I’m sure that will change once I’m there but this month off from work and trying to sell my house and getting ready to make a huge rent payment plus a house payment until I unload this thing… I was trying to explain it to a friend last night and she kind of blew me off and basically said everything will be fine in a month… but she didn’t listen to me or what my problem was... and I am currently and will be financially fucked for a while and even if I do sell my house for what I’m asking it will be a loss… the cats are turning into a pain in the ass and have broken more things in the last week than in the last 6 months. And my fuse is so short right now I’m not even sure I have one… AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!