Wandering Mind

My feet were like balls or nubs on the end of my legs. On the earth but separate from it. My mind was scattered. My body felt like a solid mass, without individual parts moving fluidly together but like an overstuffed sausage that couldn't bend but roundly at the middle. My heart was not connected to anything, nor was I even sure it was present. My hands remembered what it felt like to spread wide and press into the earth, but it was only a memory for they, too were on the earth but not touching, not connecting. The universe and I are very separate right now and I miss her. I will come back tomorrow.

This is my yoga practice and I am grateful for it.

Labels: Yoga

We bought the place in February and have been working on it since. The house is small and old, with the original structure built in 1780 and the rest added on in 1870. It's a wonderful place. there are more bird and bug species than I've ever seen in one place. We have a chickadee that eats out of your hand, a red tail hawk that flies over everyday, sparrows, finches, cardinals, jays, cat birds, robins, and a lot more. Right before we moved in (bought in Feb., but moved at the end of June, it's needed a LOT of work.) we caught a honey bee swarm and started a hive. What prompted me to write tonight is that hive has already filled and swarmed again into an old maple tree along the rock wall on the front of the property, yet another example of the life that brims here.
And it's not just the birds and the bees here, we've got snakes (I see at least one every day i'm in the yard), frogs, toads, katydids, crickets, cicadas...

I can't wait to get the chickens, but that will be next year.

And a dog...

There's so much being left out right now. Between work, a new house (that needs a whole lot of work) and a relatively new daughter and wife I am leaving out a lot of the things I love to do. Maybe I love to do too much...

In reflection, it's actually not sooo much, it's just a few things.
Yoga
Climbing
This blog
and my connection to the universe...

none of which would i have to give up if i weren't so lazy.

But there is a pull right now to get back to all of it. even if only a little of each.

I'm watching so many people close to me bottoming out and I can only hope that today is very bottom and it all goes up from here. I know my mood tends to swing down around the new moon and I was trying to be more observant this time and I think it helped to keep from being so affected. But I'm blaming my friends situations on the moon as it's entirely based on views and mental dispositions and the physical "facts" of the situations could be viewed as much less severe from a slightly different perspective. If it's not the moon, maybe something is in retrograde... whatever it is, I hope things improve for everyone soon.

I actually got up to practice as I thought the new moon was tomorrow (as my google calendar says) but for some reason I thought to double check. and I happily went back to bed for two hours. I'm still making it to my mat every day and I'm happy to be working through those days where I would much rather go home after 3 Surya A's. I'm trying to change my views and limit them to the pose I'm doing rather than all of the poses left to do. So far so good. I've been back at it for a month and haven't missed a day!

Continuing to make it to my mat.

I'm Happy.

Labels: Yoga

Practiced every day this week, actually got my ass out of bed at 5 so I could get to the studio by six and then home to spend time with the Wife and Daughter before running off to work. It's actually been quite lovely and I have all kinds of extra time in the morning but the falling asleep standing up by 8pm takes a little getting used to. I've managed to meditate just about every night, too. Even went to a Dharma Talk on Thursday. It was interesting but it was from 7 to 9 so I was pinching myself to stay awake and by the last meditation of the evening I was meditating on not falling asleep or falling over... in a group of 7 that would be somewhat obvious. As far as practice (and meditation) goes making the main focus of my practice the intention to stay in the present. My biggest challenge is way my mind just goes all over the place (thus the blog title) and I'm trying to slowly pull in the reins. So far, so good.

I've also managed to lose 12lbs. but have a mere 20 to go. L has managed to lose all but about 3 to 5 of her baby weight. I, on the other hand, continued to climb in mass until I gained (and maintained) a whopping 32 extra lbs. Need to let it go.

Labels: Yoga