Wandering Mind

So I just went swimming in the pond. You know that big ass snapping turtle that's in there? I’m not sure it’s a turtle. There was a hump behind its head and maybe a tail… I think I was understating the size last time, too. A manhole cover would look small next to this thing. I think it’s Nessie, Nessie the Loch Ness Turtle…

Today started off well. I got up and got into the yoga studio and had a wonderful practice. I even had enough time to get into second series after the primary. I stopped after Laghu Vajrasana and I think that may be the best place for me to work to for a while. I started out really stiff and it took all 10 salutations to get me going. Once I got through those my practice really opened up. My hamstrings were as open as they have been in a while. My energy was good I think because I was looking forward to the second series poses. Triang Mukha Eka Pada felt good today and I’m doing much better at getting my hips level. Today seemed to turn into a back bending day, which I guess second series does that to you, but I did urdhva dhanurasana a few extra times and I went back to using the wall for the last three up and backs. Once again I skipped sirsasana and did adho mukha vrksasana and I did viparita chakrasana once again walking my feet down the wall…But today I was a little further from the wall and was able to push my self away and I balanced! I know my backbend is not as deep as it should be but it was really an exhilarating feeling. It really worked and opened my shoulders as well. It is funny the paths our yoga takes. I like doing/trying handstands but rarely was it really a goal, along with things like floaty jump backs and throughs, they just sort of started happening. It seems to be those things that I really worry about (hips, hamstrings, etc.) move slowly but the things I worry less about progress faster. Maybe I’ve made negative attachments with all my pushing to open those areas and I should stop worrying about it…Maybe… But anyway, it was a good practice and I had a good yoga buzz for a bit afterward.

Got to work and got a few more of my computer toys, so that was good. I’m still not hooked up to the LAN but I’m sure that will be soon.

******WARNING****** WHINING IS ABOUT TO COMMENCE*******
Being new to this job I’m still not sure what all my responsibilities are and I think some people are taking advantage of that. That’s one of the things that has been frustrating me today. I was supposed to have a meeting yesterday and was blown off and the person didn’t get back to me until today, and that frustrates me. But I think what really got to me this morning was that a friend of mine thought that I had done something to hurt her that I hadn’t actually done and she heard about “it” ("it" being that which I had not done) from a mutual friend. Instead of checking with me she just assumed it was true. And even in our conversation when I mentioned that I in fact had not done anything to her it didn’t really seem to matter. I felt like there was a slight sense of relief, but I’m still the asshole.
*********END OF WHINING******************

On a positive note, The Cold Front is Here!!!!!! Thank gods it has finally cooled off. Beautiful and sun shiny and cool and dry…. I’ll take it.

I had a wonderful dinner last night with a new friend and her…significant other… I’m not sure what officially their relationship is. It’s nice getting to know new people; I’m usually slow getting to know/meet people so it’s nice to meet someone I connect with. Names will be coming for the two of them but I have a hard time being creative and I may wait until I know them better. She likes plants, rides motorcycles, works in the art museum, climbs, sings opera, and was the lead singer in a Punk Rock band… He’s a climbing legend and works for one of the biggest climbing gear companies in the world…. (I’m not sure how to distill those down to a nickname, the Punk Opera Lady?) I tried to not bring up climbing much as I’m sure every climber that comes to their house says, “Dude, can you take me climbing?” and other things immediately inviting themselves into their life, vs. waiting to be invited. I’m going to wait… It was a lot of fun getting to know them, hopefully it can continue. We talked about the local wildlife a bit, hunting, (it was kind of weird walking into their house, She calls it the “lodge” as there are heads and skins all over the walls…) and there was a good bit of belching and swearing which always helps to make me feel at home.

Well, off to take care of my responsibilities that I’m not entirely sure are mine. But I’m going to enjoy them either way and I’m sure something good will come of them… It worked with utthita hasta padangustasana, I actually really like that pose now.

It was one of those nights where the dream just kept going. The feeling of loss and being lost. Not sure who is there with you, brief glimpses of someone but then they’re gone, then they’re the wrong person, then you’re alone again. Ooof, that’s what I woke from this morning. It raised a lot of questions in my mind and I realize I need to look for answers, some of which are actions. One of which is to make more effort to have mine and L’s relationship not feel like a long distance relationship. We went from 450 miles to 90 miles with my move but it still feels distant. She invited me to a soiree that her agents are throwing on Friday that I initially declined do to the inconvenience of distance and it starts late, and I’ll get home late but I have to go home or the dog will explode… Basic, whiney stuff. I have rethunk that idea and I will just hop on the train into the city, have a lovely evening, and then hop back on the train and drag her back out to the boonies with me. It should be Lovely, and I don’t get out enough as it is. And class on Saturday doesn’t start until 11 so I can even sleep in a little if I want.

The calm, rational, forward thinking, however, was not my first thought of the day and I was pretty down. I didn’t want to practice especially because it would be a home practice, which is really hard when I’m down. I decided to take a short bike ride to get some blood flowing and the heart moving a bit and I would attempt to practice when I got back. Just a short 3 mile jaunt, took about 10 minutes but it started the shift in perspective. I tried waving to the deer this morning to see if I get any reaction, I think one smiled at me and they all waved their little white tails at me (I can pretend that’s a sign of salutation). There was one walking along the road that I wasn’t sure was going to move out of the way when I rode up. She bolted last second.

When I got home I still didn’t want to practice but I’ve been reading about people who do a home practice…alone…everyday… I understand their lack of desire to step onto the mat, but they do, day after day, so I can do it today. I also opened my practice to the people who want to practice but can’t, hopefully allowing them to move a little through me. I know it sounds a little corny but it really helped. And I swear I heard someone else’s voice in my head a few times. I know sometimes it was my ego saying "Is this all the further you can go in this pose?" And, "Wow, you’re really not very flexible are you?" But there was a kind voice, too, just enjoying the movement. And the ego passed and I really enjoyed myself, feeling my poses like I hadn’t done them in a while. Unfortunately I was a little short on time so I skipped quite a few of the vinyasas but I did all the poses with a little bit of yoganidrasana prep stuffs after supta padangustasana. I think that actually does more to open my mind to what my body is capable of than opening the body.

As the mind cleared through practice I was able to see a little better and I realized a trip to Manhattan was just what I needed.

On a side note, I’m thinking about switching my web host and blog host as I think I’m overpaying for the web host and the feed for the blog doesn’t seem to be feeding very regularly…

Practice was OK this morning. I was really looking forward to going in but once I got through the Sun Salutations my energy sort of dropped. I have a headache, which is a little unusual for me so that was a bit of a distraction, and I think I was actually trying to do handstands in my vinyasas and that never works. I cruised up through supta padangustasana but sidetracked myself towards yoganidrasana because my supta kurmasana was so tight I wanted to get a little extra in on the hips, hamstrings and shoulders. I think it was very beneficial, but I didn’t try to work the feet behind the head, just tried to straighten the legs. Felt like tortoise on his back pose… However, without my bodyweight causing my hamstrings to lock up like in Kurmasana I was nearly able to straighten them AND keep my knees behind my shoulders. It felt good and I may try to sneak it in during my self-practices after supta padangustasana. I didn’t start my practice until 7:00 and have to be done by 8:30 so I didn’t get a chance to add any second series. I really need to get there by 6:30. In lieu of sirsasana I worked on adho mukha vrksasana and viparita chakrasana (walking my feet down the wall). If that pose is something you want to try and you can do adho mukha vrksasana I would really recommend trying it with a wall. It feels great!

Yesterday when I got to work there was this little black and white kitten outside my window that I’m assuming was a feral kitten. It didn’t really want anything to do with me and took off as soon as the coast was clear. I was actually a little relieved as I can’t take another cat. Two is plenty. But I was a little disappointed not to see it this morning. It couldn’t have been but 9 or 10 weeks old.

The boss is out this week so motivation is lower than normal. Thankfully most everything I have to do is necessary and not optional. That keeps me going a little bit more. That being said, I am sitting in the coffee shop of the library writing my blog. While I was here I wanted to check out the book that Julie recommended. And since I practiced this morning I’ll actually have to figure out what to do this evening… That has to be one of my favorite things about a morning practice, free evenings.

is a ball-and-socket joint formed by the head of the femur and the acetabulum of the hip bone"
or
The hip joint: where the femur attaches to the pelvis, specifically the illium, the ischium and the pubis. The iliofemoral ligament, the ischiofemoral ligament and the pubofemoral ligaments reinforce this joint and in process limit the motion in our hip some (meaning me) much more than others. Also, being male, my sub-pubic angle is much tighter than that of a female which explains why my hips seem to open up so damn slowly, and from what I understand, as a pregnant woman progresses through pregnancy her hips open even more. With the intention to allow for the birth but I hear it has some benefits in certain poses as well and obviously I will never have that experience… If that didn’t make sense to you that’s ok, it didn’t to me either until I was looking at pictures in my books.

So if you hadn’t guessed, we did hip opening in Michael’s alignment class tonight. It was extremely enlightening as Michael didn’t hold back on the anatomy and talked through it slowly enough that it made sense. It doesn’t hurt that I’ve been trying to work my way through the anatomy books, myself. So as soon as I got home I double checked the books to try to remember what he said and apply it to what I felt both statically and dynamically in the class. It was really pretty cool.

From the waist down I feel very loose and open and I can just feel the blood flowing and the openness of my hips. However we did very little twisting and shoulder work and no inversions so my upper body is still raring to go. After savasana I went to the back of the room and did handstand to help release the shoulders and give myself a little bit of an inversion. I actually held it for 10 breaths, which is the longest I’ve ever balanced in that pose.

The room was relatively full tonight, too, which hampered my vinyasas as I need about one and a third mat lengths to really be able to float through them. During one of them some poor woman hit her head on my foot (No, I did not kick her, my foot was stationary on the floor when she knocked her head into it) I still said sorry right away and felt horrible for the rest of the class…

It was a nice change of pace in the class. Even the vinyasa classes here are very ashtangic as we always do the Suryas then the standing and finish with the finishing and the variations usually happen when one would normally be doing primary or second series. Granted there is a little license used in parts of the standing series but it’s essentially the standard Ashtanga standing. (Standard standing…that’s kinda funny). But anyway, my point was that tonight was a real change of pace because we weren’t really following Ashtanga sequence and usually my shoulders are exhausted by the end of the class and this may be just the rest they needed…

So now to grab some dinner and off to bed as I will be back in the studio at 6:30 tomorrow morning.

By the way, have I mentioned how beautiful it is here? There’s this gorgeous ridge that I get to look at whenever I drive towards home. I drive through orchards, wetlands, fields and forests in the 4 miles to my house. I see deer daily and regularly see hawks, eagles, wild turkey, finches, woodpeckers, red-wing black birds… I’ve seen herons, a fox, maybe a coyote, and all kinds of other really cool things. I’m really looking forward to taking the motorcycle out on these roads in the fall…
Anyway, I’m off.

After updating my reading list (look right) I've realized my reading is a bit... dry... I could really use a good book to help break this up a bit. Maybe a bit of fiction with a philosophical twist... If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.

Lovely weekend, coming to a close. Picked L up from the train station Friday and skipped my yoga class. We decided to eat instead, I was tired and hot and grouchy so it would have done me a lot of good but I would have probably been less than thrilled most of the class. The cats were insane Friday night and one of the local cats was hanging out outside the window, which made them that much worse. L and I had to switch spots on the bed as the cats were using her as a launch pad to the window (I’m a heavier sleeper so they don’t bother me as much). Saturday we made sure the cats didn’t sleep during the day so they would at night. Much better. We also slept heavier Saturday night as we did the Primary class in the morning and then hiked 8 miles in the afternoon. Topped off with a wonderfully heavy make your own pasta dish for dinner.

Practice itself was great. I felt more present than I often do and the poses came easier. Michael gave some great adjustments (as usual). I’m a little confused by one that he gives me. In vinyasas I’m going into handstand about eighty percent of the time now, and he occasionally will catch my legs to keep me up. I should ask him but I’m not sure if at that one moment he wants me to work on handstand or if he’s saying I should hold them longer in the vinyasas. I suppose I should just ask. I usually get a good revolve adjustment from him and I also got a great push on the hamstring in Supta Padangustasana. Walked out feeling open and light and wonderful. I really love classes like that.

I really like the Sunday class as well. It’s usually a vinyasa class heavy in the second series poses, which I really need to work on. Today’s class was good because I’m getting better at not having expectations of myself in the classes. I think in the past it would have been a very ho-hum class because I am less than proficient in many of the second series poses and I would have expected too much… strike that… I would have expected something of myself that was not where I am and where I need to be, and that can be frustrating. But I’m getting a lot out of all my classes. I realized I’ve been missing a great hamstring stretch in down dog because I would use it as too much of a rest pose. I’m already starting to see some results from just working the heals down and pulling the thighs back. We did a lot of back bending today which was nice but my back was a little tender from the hike yesterday. Note to self: I really need to work on keeping the abs tighter when I walk for a long time. I think I let them relax too much and then my back doesn’t have any support.

After class met L at Starbucks where she was reading the times and eating her scone. I think we may be developing a routine. She practices with me on Saturday and Sunday she reads the paper and I practice without her. It seems to work quite nicely. It’s nice to for us to realize that I don’t expect her to come to every class I attend and she’s ok with me doing something else. It’s slow going turning a long distance relationship into a normal one. After Starbucks we went to the farmers market that wasn’t a farmers market and looked at all 6 stalls/booths/tents/whatever. There are better farmers markets around here that are open daily; I’m not sure what this was. Then headed back to the apartment and went for a dip in the pond. Neither of us lost any toes to the snapping turtles. We saw one last weekend that was the size of a manhole cover with a head as big as my fist. I wasn’t sure L would ever get in the pond after that. We swam around a little then headed back to the apartment and she read and I took a nap before taking her back to the train station. I actually got more sun in an hour today than I did in three hours yesterday…kinda weird.

L and I are tossing around the idea of doing a triathlon. I’m not sure how it came up but we started talking about it and I got hooked on the idea. She’s a little brighter than me so she’s not sold on the idea yet but I think it will be fun. I just want to train slowly so as to not hurt my joints. I’ve messed up my knees running previously but I was a bit to gung ho and was running five miles a day in less than a month… We’re talking slow and steady and probably doing a sprint triathlon in the spring (and I’m thinking an Olympic length by end of summer but haven’t convinced her yet) I have no desire to try the Iron-Man… that’s a little too extreme for me. I just think it’s a really good thing for us to do something physical together that is challenging and somewhat goal oriented (the goal being finishing, not winning). So much of my enjoyment of life is physical I just want to make sure we have something like that we can share, otherwise there sometimes feels like there’s a gap.

So that’s the weekend in a nutshell. I’m not sure what I’m up to tonight short of trying not to throttle the upstairs neighbors for stomping around like a heard of elephants… I need to get cable. I get absolutely no stations out here…

I keep procrastinating putting in a new entry because I'm trying to catch up everything that has happened the last couple of weeks. But each day I put it off is a new entry that I have to catch up on. So check back dates soon, I should be adding entries for many of the days I've missed writing and I will back date them to keep it in sequence for me. Eventually it should all make sense... I just miss writing so I’ll do the current happenings now and those of the past as I get to them.

So today is a Moon Day but I practiced anyway. Tuesdays and Thursdays are the days they open the studio for self practice and I have been taking Wednesdays off and I took Saturday off, too. Today is also Pattabhi Jois' birthday, so Happy Birthday Guruji! Practice was good this morning, my spine didn't care to be practicing so early but it always gets a little more flexible when I do practice in the morning. Surya A & B were good, long and slow and I just took my time feeling everything open as I flowed through. Standing series was lovely. Michael has been giving me adjustments in Trikonasana, Parivritta Trikonasana, and Parsvakonasana and they have really helped to open my chest and lengthen out the whole pose. Michael gives really good adjustments and I have felt my practice take a nice step forward since I've been here. I've determined that Utthita Hasta Padangustasana is my new favorite pose because I dislike it so much. I figure if I keep telling myself how much I love it as I go into the pose it may become truth. Seems to be working so far. I started a little late today so I didn't have time to do all of it but I tried the second series. It felt better than the last time I tried. I wish I had someone that could teach them to me in sequence. I've done or attempted all but 3 or 4 of the poses in vinyasa classes but it's not quite the same as learning them in a sequence (and remembering the sequence, I have to have a book in front of me). But I enjoyed it today. I've been focusing more on the front of the body during back bends more than the back of the body and it really affects the poses. I think I gain strength and that allows me a better backbend.

The drive in was beautiful. I definitely lucked out in my location (living and working). The sun peeks over the hills on a beautiful COOL summer morning I drove through the vineyards and orchards all glistening and shimmering with the sun reflecting off the morning dew.

Work – Oh, Man, Work. I now work for a New York state institution and everything is slow. Ordering, purchasing, just getting simple things like my computer hooked up to the LAN is taking forever. It took two weeks to get a computer and it will take another two to get it hooked up. I’m sure this place either cultivates patience or patients (of the padded room variety). But it’s not like I can’t find plenty of other things to do while I’m waiting. I have a very long list but at least I’m working and enjoying it for the most part. Students start August 25 so I’m sure a lot will change then.

So Entries should be appearing before and after this one until I’m all caught up.

Sometimes our minds are just to busy to slow down but we still need to have a place prepared for them when they can.

Breathe,
Do Yoga.

First Catch up Entry, More to come ASAP

So when we last left our hero, (be nice) He was packing his little brains out. Well the move was a bit of a mess. The U-haul arrived two days late, I was supposed to pick it up on Wednesday the 29th but it wasn’t available until the 1st which was the day I was supposed to be driving it to New Paltz. On a side note I would never (read NEVER!) recommend U-haul to anyone that needs it at a particular time or date. According to their employees you have to give them a two to three day window and then they might be able to accommodate you… The problem with the truck being late is I lost the driver of my Guzzler because she was going to meet her boyfriend on his trip toward Buffalo and by the time I left he would be here.

I think this is going to turn into a long run-on sentence. Just breathe when you need to…

My friend Jess just happened to be visiting Buffalo from Milwaukee and after a little begging she offered to drive the guzzler and I would ship her back on a train Saturday afternoon. That was a huge relief.

Yoga Break- Beth’s class Thursday night was nice. I was sort of expecting this huge emotional release because it was my last class at the studio (short of road trips) but it was just a nice, normal class….

Friday:
The loading of the truck went smoothly and if you’ve never ridden a motorcycle up a ramp and into the back of a truck you should try it. It’s kinda fun. The Cat Lady and the Clock Guy showed up and helped me load the truck and I had a neighbor volunteer to help load, too. I think he may have offered before he realized how much shit I really have including over 2,000 lbs of weights. But he was a HUGE help and he bought my lawn mower for $30 so I didn’t have to worry about moving it or storing it. And. Big AND here. I got a stump. Well actually it’s a slice of a tree about 42” in diameter (Sugar Maple). A neighbor across the street was having a tree taken down and the guys cutting it up had this beautiful piece about 5 inches think that would make a great table (granted, you have to be in the rustic, woodsy sort of mood to appreciate it). I asked if I could have it and now I do. Just what I needed a 150lb stump to go with the other 150 lb stump that Saunders gave me. Stumps were loaded last…

The truck was full, the house was empty (except for the cats, dog, me and a radio) and I needed to get some sleep as I was picking up Jess at 5:45 in the AM. Problem was, I packed EVERYTHING so I had nowhere to sleep. I made myself a little nest but didn’t have any covers so it was a bit chilly but not too bad. I think the cats were a little nervous as to what was going on so they slept close to me which added some warmth..

Saturday:
Bright and early picking up Jess. We came back to the house loaded up the refrigerated foods, coffee make and cleaning supplies and made ready to hit the road, right on schedule. I hop in the U-Haul, she’s in the guzzler and were ready to go except she’s having a little trouble because sometimes it doesn’t slip into reverse without a little jiggling. I hop out of the truck walk down to the street to mention she needs to jiggle the shifter. I turn back to the U-Haul and notice it’s rolling backwards between my house and the neighbors house… It doesn’t fit between my house and the neighbors house… SHIT! I run as fast as I can to the truck before it hits either house, jump in head first and hit the break with my hand… (you have to push the break really hard to stop these things). It finally stops as my heart nearly did, too. I slowly climb up to the seat and put it in park. Genious that I am, I had put it in reverse and forgotten about it watching Jess having issues in the guzzler. And it didn’t move at first because it was going backwards up a slight slope in my driveway… Auspicious start…