Leggo of my ego
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Ego, Attachment, Anger, Frustration. This was my practice this morning. I have a goal for my practice and it’s fucking me up. I’m trying to be somewhere I’m physically not so that I don’t feel like an ass next week when I go to NYC to practice with Guruji. My left knee and shoulder are both tweaked right now and I can’t do half the poses “correctly” because of that. I’m 10 lbs. heavier than I should be so that gets in the way of a few more poses and the breath and bandhas. Last year I was new to the primary as a regular practice so I had fewer expectations but I feel like I’m supposed to be somewhere this year but I don’t know if anything has changed. Some days I can feel it, see it, but on days like today… I feel like I’ve regressed. I have reduced my practice to a list of physical positions that I try to get my body in to and I am ignoring the other 99% of what my practice should be. If I could just let go of the ego…
I actually went to a yoga class on Sunday at the studio that I was going to last fall. It was nice to get some adjustments but I didn’t really care for the class. I realized that the only reason I went to this particular studio is that it was Ashtanga based and the teacher gave good physical adjustments. But it never felt like somewhere I belonged, like it was my studio. I have felt more at home in nearly every other studio I’ve ever practiced in. I desperately need a teacher, so I guess I’ll find a new studio where I can practice a few days a week and do my Ashtanga practice the other few days. Crap.
Not all is crap in my world however. (Nevermind it’s spring break and I’m at work) but the wedding plans seem to be going very well. It looks like we’ve found the location for the Ceremony and the reception, the caterer, and the florist, still waiting to audition the musician. The Blonde Lady has found her dress but I have no clue what I’m wearing yet. The officiator seems to be the biggest sticking point. She’s talking to a friend from her home town who is a Methodist minister but we don’t want a “religious” wedding so we’re not sure if he’ll do it. If that doesn’t work out we’re at a bit of a quandary as to who will perform the ceremony. Everything else seems to be falling into place so I’m sure that will, too.
posted by Chris at 8:42 AM Permalink
3 Comments:
Hey there,
My wife and I used the United Methodist minister from my church back home. We also didn't want an overly religious ceremony. Rev. Dawn was very accomodating. We worked with her to create the ceremony we wanted. The structure itself followed the ceremony in the United Methodist Hymnal. But only in structure. We gave her poems and readings from the Buddhist and Sufi faiths. She turned those ideas into prayers and words that we truly felt were universal in nature. She even used the term "Nirvana" during prayer, substituted the name Jesus with "God's love", refered to "Heaven" as "the cosmos". It was great and was really what we wanted. Mind you our whole wedding was very non-traditional. We didn't bother rehearsing the ceremony, decided on our vows in bed on the morning of our wedding, and our guests hummed the wedding march because we didn't have an organist or musicicans, etc. It was a laugh, but it was perfect. You can check out some pix here:
http://community.webshots.com/album/458801690joZakz
Best Wishes,
D
3/21/2006 12:07 PM
Thanks Darren,
It's good to know that it's possible. I know She'll be very happy to hear this as well as he's a old friend.
Beautiful pics by the way.
3/21/2006 1:55 PM
Regarding your practice, here's something from the YJ newsletter.
One happy casualty of releasing this preoccupation (with the body) is the hopeless pursuit of perfection. A healthy body is a true blessing, but healthy is not the same as perfect. No matter how advanced your practice is, yoga is just that—a practice. We can always learn harder poses or hold them longer. The longer we practice, the more yoga teaches us that there really is no point in expecting perfection, in our practice or in our body.
3/22/2006 10:09 AM
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