Black Holes

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Then there are those times when you practice next to someone who is an energetic black hole. Usually not through fault of their own, but because they are tired or stressed out or just "down" they tend to leach all the energy from those around them. I have found in these situations there are two options. To get defensive and have your energy slowly drained from you as you get more and more frustrated, or to realize you have enough energy to share with them no matter how much they need, plus a little extra for everyone else in the room. Today, I chose the first option. That's not to say I didn't have a good practice. I was able to focus and work on those areas that I've been wanting to deepen my understanding of, but by the time I made it to purvotannasana, citta vrtti was in full swing. I think it was worthwhile to have that experience as I was able to turn it into a point of understanding by the end of savasana and I didn't let it interfere with my physical practice, but it doesn't make it any more enjoyable during the process.

Now, if I could only pay as much attention to the positive things and learn from them like I do from the negative...

in time...


APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering 5
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee
With a shower of rain; we stopped in the colonnade,
And went on in sunlight, into the Hofgarten, 10
And drank coffee, and talked for an hour.
Bin gar keine Russin, stamm' aus Litauen, echt deutsch.
And when we were children, staying at the archduke's,
My cousin's, he took me out on a sled,
And I was frightened. He said, Marie, 15
Marie, hold on tight. And down we went.
In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.

What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man, 20
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock, 25
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust. 30
Frisch weht der Wind
Der Heimat zu.
Mein Irisch Kind,
Wo weilest du?
'You gave me hyacinths first a year ago; 35
'They called me the hyacinth girl.'
—Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing, 40
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.
Od' und leer das Meer.

Madame Sosostris, famous clairvoyante,
Had a bad cold, nevertheless
Is known to be the wisest woman in Europe, 45
With a wicked pack of cards. Here, said she,
Is your card, the drowned Phoenician Sailor,
(Those are pearls that were his eyes. Look!)
Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations. 50
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card,
Which is blank, is something he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water. 55
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself:
One must be so careful these days.

Unreal City, 60
Under the brown fog of a winter dawn,
A crowd flowed over London Bridge, so many,
I had not thought death had undone so many.
Sighs, short and infrequent, were exhaled,
And each man fixed his eyes before his feet. 65
Flowed up the hill and down King William Street,
To where Saint Mary Woolnoth kept the hours
With a dead sound on the final stroke of nine.
There I saw one I knew, and stopped him, crying 'Stetson!
'You who were with me in the ships at Mylae! 70
'That corpse you planted last year in your garden,
'Has it begun to sprout? Will it bloom this year?
'Or has the sudden frost disturbed its bed?
'Oh keep the Dog far hence, that's friend to men,
'Or with his nails he'll dig it up again! 75
'You! hypocrite lecteur!—mon semblable,—mon frère!'

The Wasteland, by T.S. Eliot


5 Comments:

Blogger idoru said...

I'm interested in how someone can be a black hole of energy. I've never experienced this before. What it something in particular that the person was doing?

4/05/2006 12:31 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm either being called on a non-yogic attitude or you have a blessed practice. It's not always what they are doing but the attitude in which they are doing it. But as I said, it's more about my reaction to them (and allowing my attitude to be altered by my perception of their energy) than their effect on me...

4/05/2006 1:14 PM

 
Blogger Karen said...

I've had the same experience during my past two Mysore practices: someone who seems to affect my energy in a weird way. I can't figure out if it's all in my head, or if there is something going on there, and I guess, in the end, it really doesn't matter. I just have to find a way to let it go...

I love "The Wasteland"--thanks!

4/05/2006 3:45 PM

 
Blogger idoru said...

Hi Chris,
I re-read my comment and I neither called you non-yogic nor claimed I had a blessed practice. Geez! Talk about reading between the lines.

I only mentioned what I myself have not experienced. However,I recognize there is a first time for everything. Perhaps I asked you that question because I'd like to recognize it when I see it.

Best wishes,
Darren

4/06/2006 10:54 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darren,
I know you didn't mean anything. I was trying to be funny... didn't work...

I was really calling myself out...

5/01/2006 9:57 AM

 

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