Wandering Mind

Savitarka Samadhi, the practice of samadhi through the study of concrete objects. Creating a one mindedness through the focus of an object, be it a book, a sound, a person (including our own physical selves), an atom, or anything else that we can contemplate with minimal subjectivity. (When subjectivity can come into play it is called savichara samadhi, but that is another day). Today I focused on my body.

I didn’t want to practice again today. The idea just depressed me. I didn’t want to be reminded again of what my body was too feeble to do. (Now, to know me on would not usually assume feeble, but in regards to my own opinion of what my body should be able to do, that is how I saw it). Yes, this is entirely ego based, I know, but that doesn’t mean the thoughts don’t exist in my head. I knew that I needed to practice, so I drug my feet as long as I could, picked up my mat and headed to the studio. On a whim I grabbed my copy of the Yoga Sutras on the way out the door. Once in the room I continued to procrastinate and I took my time setting up and I laid the book down next to my mat, figuring I could at least sit and read the Sutras a little bit if I don’t convince myself to practice. Finally I got myself seated and opened the book to my current place.

17) Vitarka Vicaranandasmitanugamat Samprajnatah


Samprajnata samadhi (distinguished contemplation) is
accompanied by reasoning, reflecting, rejoicing, and pure I-am-ness.

I continued to read about the first samadhi, Reasoning (Savitarka Samadhi). I chose to make my practice the observation of the body, with all it’s aches and pains (and occasional strengths). Now granted, to say I achieved Samadhi through this focus would be an exaggeration, but I was able to block out many aspects of citta vrtti including my ego for much of my practice. I determined, as I moved through the salutations, that I was trying to do things my body is not in a place right now to do. I once had a conversation with a friend that one reason I’m glad I don’t go to a mysore class with a real teacher is they would probably cut me off at Kurmasana. She kindly pointed out that they would actually probably cut me off after Marichyasana D, as I can’t bind. I didn’t like that idea at all, (and that, my friends, is purely ego driven). However, I realized today that Marichyasana D is precisely where I should stop before I move onto finishing. My practice consists of me rushing through all the poses, knowing when I start, it’s going to take a long time and just scooting through the poses that I can’t do well. So what my body needs is to slow down, and work through with focus where I am. I know how to do the poses (Meaning: I know where my body is supposed to go, not that I can physically or mentally do all the poses), so I do have a teacher, I just need to make sure I have a kind teacher, an intelligent teacher, and one that understands that there is more to this practice that checking as many poses off a list as possible.

So that was the course of thought for about two of the Surya A’s. The rest of my practice was good, knowing I wouldn’t take my knees to a place they couldn’t go and my mind to a place it couldn’t go. My vinyasas were stronger and all of my poses seemed to have more of a purpose and less of need to move on to the next pose. I know that my mind went on a tangent from its original focus, but it’s that original focus that got it where it needed to go, and then I was able to go back to focusing on the sensations of my body as I practiced.

This is my truth for today, which is not my truth for yesterday or tomorrow, for those are only true as they exist in the moment.